When Allison Priest arrived home from her normal Friday afternoon classes, there was a homeless man sitting at the table drinking coffee. She considered screaming but decided instead to deal with him in the usual way one deals with homeless people, by ignoring him and hoping he would go away. She walked by him without a second glance and went into her room, where she dumped her book bag onto her bed and changed into a T shirt.
When she came back out, he was still there. He seemed to be studying the three identical prints Olivia had framed and spaced equally across the wall of the main room. His clothes were ragged and of no particular color, while his hair and massive beard were black and shaggy. His skin was deeply tanned and he seemed much too comfortable sitting in Allison’s spot. She could smell him from where she stood.
Determined to continue ignoring him, Allison marched past the table into the tiny kitchen. She found lined across the table six glass bowls, each containing a different color of M&Ms. Evidently Olivia had found her stash again.
Allison pretended to peruse the contents of the refrigerator as she contemplated what to do about the homeless man. She wasn’t sure why he was there, nor was she sure how to go about asking. What did you say to someone sitting around your apartment like he owned it? What if she had accidentally gone into number 5 instead of number 6 and this was his home? But wait, if he was homeless–
“I’m back!” Olivia had returned. Allison closed the refrigerator door and peered through the kitchen archway to see how her housemate would handle the homeless man.
Olivia was carrying a bulging plastic bag. From it, she removed a bottle of Febreeze and sprayed all around the main room. Then she hand the rest of the bag to the man and showed him to the bathroom. He locked the door and a few moments Allison heard the shower.
“Olivia…” she started. The other girl, who was blonde and pink across the cheeks from mild rosacea, turned and beamed at her.
“When did you get back?” she asked pleasantly.
“Um,” replied Allison and gestured toward the bathroom door.
Olivia frowned in confusion.
“Who was that?” Allison asked.
“Oh,” said Olivia, “that’s Conrad.” And she went to straighten the couch pillows.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
As a child, Allison Priest was unfortunate enough to believe her parents when they told her she could grow up to be anything she wanted. She was also unfortunate enough to grow up during a time when medical dramas were popular and, preferring them to crime shows, she became convinced in was her own self-proclaimed destiny to become a doctor.
Monday, March 1, 2010
A Haunting Tale, PART OOOONE
WARNING: Mucho swear-o ahead. 8D
--
So I’m sitting on the bed, and Laura has some book open, and she’s telling Amber about how she’s certain the “spirit” has been getting restly lately, and they both want to contact it because they both think they’re fucking psychic.
They both get all excited over the ritual, and they’re freaking out because they don’t have the right sort of incense on hand, and they call that bitch-faced girl Kayla because she was on this damn paranormal train way before they were. And Kayla tells them they can just use some other type of incense. Like it fucking matters.
So they’re both trying to purify the room or some shit like that by making it smell like a fucking whore house, and I’m still sitting there on the bed wondering what the hell happened to this house.
Like, she used to be all normal and play with mommy’s makeup and sit around texting and eating cheetos and then texting about how she’s going to become fucking obese because she’s eating cheetos, but now all she does is look up creepy ass things on the internet and then talk to her goddamn friends about the Other World and shit. And they’re all convinced this goddamn house is fucking haunted, by like two or three ghosts. One’s some bastard from the Civil War, and the other’s this chick their age who drowned in the pool this house used to have. And maybe there’s like a dog or cat or something, they don’t know.
Anyway it’s the chick they’re all flipping shit about, because since she died at their age they think she’s jealous or some shit like that.
So they’re going to call her up or something, and use this old barbie as a medium. What the fuck. They’re going to try and talk to a fucking possessed barbie doll. Like that’ll work. At least they have a real goddamn book this time, instead of some shit printed off the internet.
To connect the doll to the girl, they dress it it some swimsuit Laura manages to find, because the girl drowning and all. What the hell. Like someone’s going to just jump into a barbie doll because it kind of reminds them of how they died.
They think the girl’s name is Abigail, so they write that name of three fucking sheets of paper, then burn the pieces in a clay bowl. Why the fuck do Laura’s parents let her have a lighter anyway?
The book wants menstrual blood, which they think is gross, which is fucking is, so they substitute by pricking their fingers with a sewing needle and squeezing three drops of blood each into the tiny layer of ashes of the burned paper.
They they both fucking freak out again, because they realize the book has a footnote that says they can’t substitute salt water for sea water, and Laura starts to fucking wail about how the goddamn ghost chick is going to hurt her and shit. So Amber says no, no, it’s okay, they’ll just use salt water anyway and then if that doesn’t work Laura can spend the night at HER house tomorrow. Fucking pussies.
So they go ahead and water down their ash-blood concoction with their goddamn salt water then they bathe the Barbie in it. What the hell.
Then Amber starts drying the Barbie off and brushing her hair and crap while Laura sets up this circle of candles, but she doesn’t have enough white ones, and she runs off to the kitchen and comes back with a few of those cheap ones you put on birthday cakes. They don’t flip the shit about that substitution, at least. Then Amber put the Barbie in the middle of the circle, and they both hold the lighter as they light the circle counterclockwise, which they think is important. Shit.
Then they sit on opposite sides, and Laura asks for the spirit of Abigail to enter the doll.
Then there’s an awkward pause and they look at the Barbie intently for a minute or two, but then there’s this gust of wind, and some of the candles are blown out, and Laura screams. And I don't know how Laura’s parents haven’t woken up, because as soon as Laura started screaming Amber joined her, and they both get up and run out of the room and I follow them and they slam the door.
Then Amber has this genius idea that they should put salt around the goddamn door, so the ghost chick can’t get at them (because they think ghosts are afraid of salt or some shit like that), but fuck it, the spirit’s in a lump of plastic, what’s it gonna do?
And so I think Laura’s parents are just ignoring them, because with all the banging around in the kictchen they’re doing, there’s no way in hell they haven’t woken them up. Their cat looks annoyed enough. And finally they find the salt, but now Laura’s too fucking scared to go upstairs again, and I almost want to do it for her so she stops fucking whining.
Eventually they both go into the living room and put on the TV, and I sit down next to them. Nothing’s good on at 1:00 AM, and they start chit-chatting over the sound of some dumbass thing on MTV. Then suddenly Amber goes Shh! and they both stop. And they’re this banging noise from upstairs and Laura says oh my god it’s coming form my room.
And so Amber says they have to go up put the salt along the threshold, otherwise it might go into Laura’s parents room, and the cat looks almost as fucking annoyed as I do. They’ve been sitting with the box of rock salt between them, and after some whining Laura grabs it and we all go back upstairs.
The banging noise is definitely coming from inside the room, and Laura almost starts crying. He hands are shaking as she makes a line of salt along the bottom on the door, and Amber stares at the door wide-eyed, and swears to god she can feel the hatred radiating from inside. Then Laura asks if they should talk to the ghost chick, and they both stare at each other for a while, then suddenly they both bolt downstairs. I have no fucking clue why, but I follow them anyway.
And they’re both telling each other about the scream they heard and they’re like,
It was like a kettle on a stove.
Yeah.
Wordless and pained.
I thought I heard it say something.
You’re right. It said like, ‘Beware.’
No, I think it said, ‘Be aware.’
Be aware of what?
Maybe it’s a warning.
It sounded evil. Maybe… malicious?
Maybe it’s a threat.
Amber, I’m scared.
I know.
And shit like that. What fucking scream?
--
So I’m sitting on the bed, and Laura has some book open, and she’s telling Amber about how she’s certain the “spirit” has been getting restly lately, and they both want to contact it because they both think they’re fucking psychic.
They both get all excited over the ritual, and they’re freaking out because they don’t have the right sort of incense on hand, and they call that bitch-faced girl Kayla because she was on this damn paranormal train way before they were. And Kayla tells them they can just use some other type of incense. Like it fucking matters.
So they’re both trying to purify the room or some shit like that by making it smell like a fucking whore house, and I’m still sitting there on the bed wondering what the hell happened to this house.
Like, she used to be all normal and play with mommy’s makeup and sit around texting and eating cheetos and then texting about how she’s going to become fucking obese because she’s eating cheetos, but now all she does is look up creepy ass things on the internet and then talk to her goddamn friends about the Other World and shit. And they’re all convinced this goddamn house is fucking haunted, by like two or three ghosts. One’s some bastard from the Civil War, and the other’s this chick their age who drowned in the pool this house used to have. And maybe there’s like a dog or cat or something, they don’t know.
Anyway it’s the chick they’re all flipping shit about, because since she died at their age they think she’s jealous or some shit like that.
So they’re going to call her up or something, and use this old barbie as a medium. What the fuck. They’re going to try and talk to a fucking possessed barbie doll. Like that’ll work. At least they have a real goddamn book this time, instead of some shit printed off the internet.
To connect the doll to the girl, they dress it it some swimsuit Laura manages to find, because the girl drowning and all. What the hell. Like someone’s going to just jump into a barbie doll because it kind of reminds them of how they died.
They think the girl’s name is Abigail, so they write that name of three fucking sheets of paper, then burn the pieces in a clay bowl. Why the fuck do Laura’s parents let her have a lighter anyway?
The book wants menstrual blood, which they think is gross, which is fucking is, so they substitute by pricking their fingers with a sewing needle and squeezing three drops of blood each into the tiny layer of ashes of the burned paper.
They they both fucking freak out again, because they realize the book has a footnote that says they can’t substitute salt water for sea water, and Laura starts to fucking wail about how the goddamn ghost chick is going to hurt her and shit. So Amber says no, no, it’s okay, they’ll just use salt water anyway and then if that doesn’t work Laura can spend the night at HER house tomorrow. Fucking pussies.
So they go ahead and water down their ash-blood concoction with their goddamn salt water then they bathe the Barbie in it. What the hell.
Then Amber starts drying the Barbie off and brushing her hair and crap while Laura sets up this circle of candles, but she doesn’t have enough white ones, and she runs off to the kitchen and comes back with a few of those cheap ones you put on birthday cakes. They don’t flip the shit about that substitution, at least. Then Amber put the Barbie in the middle of the circle, and they both hold the lighter as they light the circle counterclockwise, which they think is important. Shit.
Then they sit on opposite sides, and Laura asks for the spirit of Abigail to enter the doll.
Then there’s an awkward pause and they look at the Barbie intently for a minute or two, but then there’s this gust of wind, and some of the candles are blown out, and Laura screams. And I don't know how Laura’s parents haven’t woken up, because as soon as Laura started screaming Amber joined her, and they both get up and run out of the room and I follow them and they slam the door.
Then Amber has this genius idea that they should put salt around the goddamn door, so the ghost chick can’t get at them (because they think ghosts are afraid of salt or some shit like that), but fuck it, the spirit’s in a lump of plastic, what’s it gonna do?
And so I think Laura’s parents are just ignoring them, because with all the banging around in the kictchen they’re doing, there’s no way in hell they haven’t woken them up. Their cat looks annoyed enough. And finally they find the salt, but now Laura’s too fucking scared to go upstairs again, and I almost want to do it for her so she stops fucking whining.
Eventually they both go into the living room and put on the TV, and I sit down next to them. Nothing’s good on at 1:00 AM, and they start chit-chatting over the sound of some dumbass thing on MTV. Then suddenly Amber goes Shh! and they both stop. And they’re this banging noise from upstairs and Laura says oh my god it’s coming form my room.
And so Amber says they have to go up put the salt along the threshold, otherwise it might go into Laura’s parents room, and the cat looks almost as fucking annoyed as I do. They’ve been sitting with the box of rock salt between them, and after some whining Laura grabs it and we all go back upstairs.
The banging noise is definitely coming from inside the room, and Laura almost starts crying. He hands are shaking as she makes a line of salt along the bottom on the door, and Amber stares at the door wide-eyed, and swears to god she can feel the hatred radiating from inside. Then Laura asks if they should talk to the ghost chick, and they both stare at each other for a while, then suddenly they both bolt downstairs. I have no fucking clue why, but I follow them anyway.
And they’re both telling each other about the scream they heard and they’re like,
It was like a kettle on a stove.
Yeah.
Wordless and pained.
I thought I heard it say something.
You’re right. It said like, ‘Beware.’
No, I think it said, ‘Be aware.’
Be aware of what?
Maybe it’s a warning.
It sounded evil. Maybe… malicious?
Maybe it’s a threat.
Amber, I’m scared.
I know.
And shit like that. What fucking scream?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)