Half a meme!

List 12 characters and GO!

...screw that, I'm using real people.

1. Kylie
2. Justin Bieber
3. Jesus
4.Charles Darwin
5. Tara
6. Madame Curie
7. Borges
8. Susan
9. Alexander the Great
10. Mrs. Snodgrass 8D
11. Tom Waits
12. Me 8D

1. Who would make a better college professor, Madame Curie or Tom Waits? What subjects would (s)he teach?
Madame Curie, who would teach chemistry. And make radioactive mutant servants out of her students.

2. Do you think Charles Darwin is hot? How hot?
Have you SEEN that beard? He has some major chin-sweat going on there.... hot, hot hot.

Altneratively: Darwin had like ten kids, resulting in a pretty high fitness value. Since woman are picky, we can turn to the Sexy Son Hypothesis, by which we can predict that yes, Darwin is hot.

3. Me 8D sends Susan on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?
Her mission is to get me dumplings. It fails because she doesn't have a car and eats them at home and alone.

4. What is or would be Alexander the Great's favorite book?
"How to Polish Armor with Abs Engraved into It for No Useful Reason"

5. Would it make more sense for Justin Bieber to swear fealty to Madame Curie, or the other way around?
This depends on if Madame Curie is a pedophile and/or a fan of girl's choirs.

6. For some reason, Tara is looking for a roommate. Should (s)he share a studio apartment with Alexander the Great or with Mrs. Snodgrass?
Mrs. Snodgrass because she doesn't hate her.

7. Justin Bieber, Borges, and Me 8D have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?
We go to Chuck E. Cheese. First, we get a high chair for Justin. He says something about me needing one too and I kick him in the face. But actually, since Borges is there, I'm really just an idea the waiter had, and my foot goes through his face, and I realize I don't exist and go home to cry myself to sleep. Then Justin goes to play in a ball pit and Borges eats pizza by himself.

8. Jesus challenges Mrs. Snodgrass to a duel. What happens?
Well, we all know Snod harpooned a bear, and so she harpoons Jesus. Then Jesus comes back to life, and Snod's like "sht. D:" Then they have a rap battle.

9. If Kylie stole Susan's most precious possession, how would (s)he get it back?
By poking her RELENTLESSLY IN THE SIDE.

10. Suggest a title for a story in which Borges and Me 8D both attain what they most desire.
Writing Things That Make People's Eyes Bleed and Brains Atrophy

...and now I'm bored 8D