I don't know what "The Vampire's Assistant" is about, but I hope it's like this.

“Wait, are you serious? It’s a puddle.”

“It’s a spring and it’s running. Go fetch me some earth from my coffin.”

“Just walk around it!”

“No. You need to get used to this.”

“To you being a whiney ass?”

“What if it was a river?”

“It’s a puddle.”

“Spring.”

“Whatever. It’s not. Just walk around it.”

“No. You need to practice.”

“Practice getting dirt?”

“Yes. I told you to carry some on you at all times.”

“I didn’t think we’d need anything to take your stupid dog for a walk! Why did you even come?”

“To make sure you were prepared.”

“I hate you.”

“I’ve noticed.”


--


I'm not sure how they handle modern plumbing systems.