Writing prompts! (possibly followed by whatever few lines my brain spat out afterwards)

1. "He never did forgive Her for growing up to be a girl."

(They used to sit in the sun and dig in the terra-cotta dirt, cracked into shapes like a map, until his mother came out and yelled the sun was too strong, and they'd go in and let her slap sun screen on them until they felt slimy. Then they'd go back outside and get the hose and water the terra-cotta dirt until it was mud, and they'd pretend it was clay. They'd make dinosaurs and army men out of the clay-mud and the figures would drip and melt into lumps before they could dry in the sun, but they always kept track of what was what.

Then one day She wasn't Alex anymore, she was Alexandra, and She sometimes wore dresses when he went to Her house, and She didn't want to play with the mud-clay...)

2. "She's pretty, but she's a man."

3. "What was so special about Egyptian cotton anyway?"

4. "And that's when he knew he was so very screwed."

5. "After her gag reflex suddenly caused her to spit the partially chewed thing back unto her plate, she stared at it for quite some time, thinking it looking like a piece of brain matter or maybe her ex-husband's hand after she'd wrestled it into the shredder."

6. "I keep seeing goddamn mice out of the corners of my eyes but they're too damn fast to catch in proper view."

7. "But where are your CLOTHES?"