THIS STYLE. Y/N?

Dearest Universe,

You seem to think you have a sense of humor. If you do, it sucks. Please get over yourself.

Sincerely,
Jessamyn


Dear Jessamyn,

It is not my fault you did not remember to set your alarm. Please take more personal responsibility in the future.

Yours truly,
The Universe


To my beloved Universe,

Even if I had remembered to set my alarm, that power outage in the middle of the night fried my clock. Thanks for that. Also, not warning me my blow dryer was also ruined before I jumped in the shower? Brilliant. My boss was super impressed with my damp, frizzy hair.

Your bestest friend,
Jessamyn


Dear Jessamyn,

It is not my fault you never put back-up batteries in your clock as the packaging suggested. Furthermore, you were already in state of acceptable cleanliness upon awaking, thus making a shower unnecessary and an extra factor in your tardiness. Please take more personal responsibility in the future.

My best regards,
The Universe


Oh Universe,

In the future, could you pretty please at least warn me my dog likes the taste of dress pants, leaving the only acceptable work clothes to be those crumpled in the laundry hamper and smelling of the gym clothes they’re piled on top of? It negated the ‘unnecessary’ shower, thank you very much.

Wishing you a most lovely day,
Jessamyn


Dear Jessamyn,

It is not my fault you do not do your laundry on a regular basis. Perhaps you should make a schedule and keep your dog out of your bedroom while you’re at it. As I recall, you blamed me for his consumption of your running shoes as well. Please take more personal responsibility in the future.

Respectfully yours,
The Universe